An Irish TV show want to interview Ted about being a priest on a remote island but Dougal, and FunLand get in his way. The first ever Ted episode broadcast and without doubt one of the most memorable. Moments like the Deliverance-esque banjo players, spiderbaby, the tunnel of goats and freak pointing make this a great introduction to the inhabitants of Craggy Island.
Trivia
After the broadcast of the first episode, Channel 4 received just two complaints: one criticizing it for being too anti-Catholic Church, and the other criticizing it for being too pro-Catholic Church.
The incredibly boring Father Stone, a ‘suck-the-life-out-of-any-room’ kinda-guy, comes to stay on Craggy Island. Ted prays to God to get rid of him but becomes very guilty when his wish is granted.
Trivia
The episode's title is a play on 'Entertaining Mr. Sloane' by playwright Joe Orton
‘Len’ wants Ted and Dougal to protest the screening of a movie that has been banned everywhere except for Craggy Island.“Down with this sort of thing” and “Careful now” have become part of the Irish Vocabulary
Trivia
The cinema used was the Cinema by the Sea in GreyStones, Co.Wicklow. Unfortunately it closed in July 2007 due to commercial difficulties
The annual “All Priests Stars in their eyes look-alike Competition” is near and Henry Sellers arrives to officiate. Both he and Jack run wild in the woods before a triumphant Elvis-themed finish. Includes the first appearance of the Rugged Island Priests.
Trivia
The script of this episode was the only part of the whole show to have included, but never mentioned, Mrs. Doyle's ambiguous first name: Joan.
Ted is tempted by the raunchy writer Polly Clarke, going to great lengths to meet up with her. Of course he is thwarted at every turn by disgruntled nuns, a foul-mouthed Mrs. Doyle and a thieving Tom.
Quote
Ted: (as Tom comes out of the Post Office with money, to the sound of a robbery alarm and a gunshot) Ya haven't been up to your old tricks again, have ya Tom?
Tom::No, Father. 'Tis my money. I just didn't want to fill out the forms.
Jack passes away after downing some “Purge: Floor Polish” obviously forgetting what the Windoline did to him. Ted and Dougal stand to inherit “only £500,000” between them if they spend the night with his body. Unfortunately for them, the symptoms of death wear off.
Trivia
This was the pilot episode. It was, however, the sixth to be aired, the last of the first series.
Ted quotes “The Dead”, a James Joyce short story in “Dubliners”.
Ted Dougal and Jack head off on their holidays but it does not run smoothly. Jack disappears, Graham Norton shows up as the annoying Father Noel Furlong, and Ted and Dougal have a series of unfortunate run-ins with a holidaying couple.
Trivia
The caravan site is located at Fanore Beach, Co. Clare
3 bishops arrive on Craggy Island to upgrade the Holy Stone of Clonrichert to a class two relic. One bishop leaves in a hearse, one in a hippy van, and another gets closer to a relic than he’d ever been before.
Trivia
An ecumenical matter refers to religious unity or cooperation.
A class two relic is an item that a saint wore, owned or frequently used.
All Ted wanted was a nice relaxing picnic but even this simple wish lies in ruins as Arthur Matthews apperars as a “Fuppin fupper” and Joe Rooney as the legendary “Father Damo”.
Quote
Dougal: God Ted, I've heard about those cults. Everyone dressing in black and saying our Lord's going to come back and judge us all.
The Rugged Islanders challenge the Craggy Island priests to a Song For Europe Competition. Featuring the utterly brilliant “My Lovely Horse” by Neil Hannon.
Trivia
My Lovely Horse video is based on “That’s what friends are for” by the Irish showband The Swarbriggs.
Newdie father Jack draws the wrath of Bishop ‘Len’ Brennan, who faces his ultimate fear – loads of rabbits.
Trivia
Notice how Tom searches for his weapon: first with a large hammer, then a baseball bat, then a chainsaw before finally deciding on his samurai sword. This is in the same order as Bruce Willis chooses his weapon in the 'gimp scene' in Pulp Fiction. Also the music in the scene reappears in Episode 8
Jack gets level 6 Hairy Hands Syndrome and is sent to St.Clabberts. Father Fintan Stack is his rude and destructive replacement. Who knew Brendan Grace could be funny?
Trivia
Fr. Stack's jungle music is Cutty Ranks - Limb By Limb (Dj SS Remix) by Marvellous Cain and The Way by DJ Taktix. Lovely stuff altogether.
Ted receives the Golden Cleric award for his heroics in the largest lingerie section in Ireland, leading a large group of priests to safety. A mysterious Father 'Todd Unctous' appears in advance of the awards ceremony and Mrs. Doyle is disappointed with her Christmas gift.
Trivia
Irelands largest lingerie store is in Clerys on O'Connell St. Dublin
Ted bets on Chris to win King of the Sheep, but 'The Beast of Craggy Island' upsets the reigning champion.
Trivia
In the script, Ardal O'Hanlon was meant to say that instead of a mouth, it's got two faces while describing the Beast to Ted. He didn't think the line was funny enough so when the episode came to be recorded, he changed it on the spur of the moment to "instead of a mouth it's got four arse".
The promiscuous Pat Mustard has been delivering more than milk to the women of Craggy Island and is exposed by Ted. But when Dougal replaces him on the milkround, Pat exacts his revenge.
While on a visit to the mainland, Ted and Dougal get lost in the Very Dark Caves when they escapes from the 'One Foot in the Grave' actor Richard Wilson, who apperantly doesn't enjoy his famous catchphrase being roared at him. Mrs.Doyle and Mrs. Dineen fight over who should pay a bill, while Jack visits the opticians and a long overdue AA meeting.
The first of a two-parter, Ted and Dick Byrne manage the sides contesting the 'All priests Five-a-side Over 75's Indoor Challenge Football match'.Ted's star striker dies and Jack has downed 'Dreamy Sleepy Nighty Snoozey Snooze'. However Ted needs to win or else face a forfeit.
Trivia
"You need shooting" is paraphrasing a quote from football manager Brian Clough who would roar at his players after missing a chance
Sadly the lat ever episode of this great show. After preventing a depressed Fr. Kevin(Tommy Tiernan) from committing suicide, Ted jumps at the chance to move to an American parish. But can he leave Dougal, Jack and Mrs. Doyle behind?
Trivia
The musician Brian Eno appears, as Father Brian Eno.
